Trusty Travel Hat

Remember the post where Vietnam appeared to be winning a few weeks ago?  Well, yesterday, Vietnam tried to get another point in the form of a broken down printer. I had- obviously - misprinted my second set of invitations, and returned, the day before I was due to leave the country for six weeks, to the printing shop. Previously, these guys have worked with an efficiency that would rival citizens of Northern Europe, but this time, the nice young man came back with bright yellow paper and tried to convince me that wedding invitations in sunflower yellow would be a good idea. I laughed, thinking it was a joke, whereupon we began a ten minute conversation consisting of him trying to explain to me that the printer that printed card was broken.  His English was admirably superior to me 'hello-goodbye-thank you-left-right-straight on' Vietnamese, but I was particularly slow on the uptake that day. 

Now this was a big problem because, as with all couples made up of two alpha males, I had a point to prove and had confidently declared some months previously, "Don't worry darling! I shall take charge of the invitations!"  Thus it was absolutely imperative that they be the most perfect invitations that have ever existed in Frenchie's understanding of the history of weddings. Two misprints later, and the possibility of not having a set of French invitations to hand over to Frenchie with a triumphant smile, meant things were not going too well.

It also meant that I wouldn't be able to drop Temporary Moto back that day, but would have to ride in with seven weeks worth of luggage on the back the following day, which looks like this, by the way: 

It looks more stable in this photo than it really is. Also missing are the hand bag and trusty travel hat, which cannot be secured with straps or clips. 

I was doing quite well until I reached a set of traffic lights and the bags fell off into the road. No panic, though, as the lights told me I still had 45 seconds to reconfigure. All done with speedy expertise, and off I rode again.

Then, disaster!  At another set of traffic lights my hat flew out from between my knees and landed in the middle of the road!  Before I could react, the lights changed and lots of mopeds came roaring towards me (I was on the wrong side of the road as this is sometimes allowed in Vietnam) and I watched in horror as each bike skirted around my precious hat, and then a car. The waiting traffic on the other side of the road watched the scene blankly, because clearly, they had no souls and were incapable of human emotion.

I quickly scrambled off my bike, flashing my pants to everyone because I didn't stop to think this morning that this dress was not conducive with bike riding: 

 Now you think that's a lot of thigh? You should see what happens when you're straddling a handbag and a hat on a vehicle specifically designed for leg-spreading. 

Anyway, knickers flashed, I hopped about frantically, waiting for an opening to retrieve my hat. One was coming up... Just after this taxi... It was clear...

The taxi ran over my hat and squished it!

Thankfully, the trusty travel hat is as robust as I am and doesn't need numbing fluid for piercings, either, but now there's a great big dent in the side!  Poor hat.

With everyone's vitals checked, I continued on to the printers, and most wonderously, the printer was working and it took all of 10 minutes to produce the invitations.  I think we can consider this a joint victory for Emma and Vietnam so we have put our differences behind us and called a truce.  

Now it's just a shame that Frenchie reads these blogs, because otherwise I could have tricked him into thinking I'm really organised and not a disaster zone as well as tricking him into marrying me.

I've got an iPad mini, by the way - an OFSTED bonus from my school (lol!) - which is why I am blogging obsessively. 

It's possible that I'll update you tomorrow with another story about something shiny.

Over and out for now.