Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary

So I couldn't come all the way to Australia, be told that I had no identity and be robbed of all my hard earned cash without seeing some unique-to-the-continent wildlife. So whilst Frenchie went to visit some mad crocodile scientists, I took myself off to the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary and almost wet myself on the bus there, which took quite a long time and introduced me to 'real suburban Australia', which is filled with trees and jungle and impressive bungalow-type houses with balconies that Bridget says you're not allowed to call bungalows. 

Anyway, this sanctuary was pretty cool. It was all about touching animals - appropriately of course. I got a bit snap happy and took a lot of photographs of kangaroos, and in the process, I did not figure out how to buy them food to feed them. Four year olds figured this out, but not me. After watching them for a bit - especially the big ones when they jump about - I decided that kangaroos are a bit creepy because they're a little bit like humans would be like if a mutating nuclear bomb hit the planet and we were somehow hybrid with mice. 

I stroked one or two (very soft) and hung out with some emus, and then joined the informative talk about koalas. Have some more photographs of Australian native wildlife before I tell you something shocking about koalas:

So.  According to the nice keeper lady, koalas are prone to few diseases, but one of the ones they do get is chlamydia!  Chlamydia!  The disease that leaves you a) blind and b) sterile. Not one of the 6-year-olds in the audience asked their parents what a 'sexually transmitted disease' was, which was shocking, frankly, because it shows that they clearly weren't listening. What have the youth of today come to?  

Anyway, whilst I was feeling slightly uncomfortable with the x-rated nature of this presentation (I am British, after all), it also occurred to me that cuddling a koala for a cool photo would be a minefield of risk-of-infertility (and it also cost about $15, damn Australians) so I just stood next to one called Gandalf (cool) instead in order to get the photo I had promised you all in my last post. That was just about Li Hi enough for me for one day. Taking risks with your ovaries is never a laughing matter, guys!

The photo I took in return for the lady who kindly took this one was infinitely more impressive, less blurry and generally better, but there you go:

I explained to Gandalf that I would stroke his back (soft) but that our intimacy would go no further because motherhood was a calling I was yet to fulfil, and seeing stuff was a privilege I was currently enjoying (not enough to avoid stepping in his poo though. Ironic.)

The other species that Brisbane was proud to have on loan from the US was a shipful of US marines who are currently living on a boat in the harbour somewhere. The informative talk told me that you can differentiate them from their civilian cousins by the length and style of their hair:

 

So instead of cuddling a koala, I ate chips and drank coffee whilst watching other people cuddle koalas, which is the same thing, really. It also meant I got to do some prime eavesdropping of conversations, my favourite of which went thus:

Squaddie 1: dude, I wanna see some f*cking enchiladas. 

Squaddie 2: would you rather see enchiladas or hold a f*cking koala?

They reached a compromise by going for drinks and then rejoining the queue with sustenance, so clearly the enchiladas could wait. You've got to admire US Marine commitment to a cause. 

Watching the koala queue was as fascinating a social observation as sitting in the arrivals lounge at any international airport: people - children, dads and US Marines - love to cuddle koalas. Every time one of the keepers handed a koala over, everyone looked so happy!  Only I knew that this was the delirium before the onset of chlamydia. 

Not a laughing matter, guys.

To finish, here are some photos of snakes that Frenchie probably makes into bags:

This one has no start or finish. 

And a quiz: which Disney/Pixar films have characters based on these animals:

  

All answers in the comments box, please!