Me: alright, alright. I was just at the bar.
Tiger Lady:... Madam, it is very important that we board the flight on time.
Me: don't talk to me about 'important', woman! I have been at school for a whole week! My next holiday isn't for a week and a half! Year 7 did drama last thing on a Friday. Do you know what that means? I'll tell you what's important: that second glass of wine at the bar was important. Now move out of my way so that I can sit on a flight full of crying babies wishing sterilisation on everyone around me!
Yep, this child stared at me for the entire flight.
Look at the view, small child, not at me, the first white person you have ever seen this close up!
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