Breasts

We all love breasts. Big juicy ones like these:

Or lovely delicate, petite ones like these:

If you've spent your whole life with the same woman and built a relationship with her breasts and now think of them as old friends, you're probably also fond of the bulky comfort of breasts like these:

Or, if you're still at that stage in life when you haven't yet experienced breasts, you're probably very excited about being associated with a pair like these:

Just in case you're not aware, or are embarrassed to admit it, girls also find the breasts of others very comforting.  It's not just boys.

And we do stare admiringly at breasts like these when we see them in the media:

Because breasts are great. Breasts breasts breasts.

Good, now that I've got your attention: in a similar way, we all hate cancer. There's just nothing good to say about it really, is there?  It's like the biggest, most hateful, dirty mosquito in the world. No good comes of it and we wish it would go away. We have probably all been moved and inspired by the noble and optimistic struggle of someone we love against some form of cancer, but let's be honest, we could be moved and inspired by something with a less shitty end consequence, couldn't we?  Like the London Marathon, for example, where people voluntarily put themselves through suffering. Or, of you need to be really inspired, the Marathon des Sables.  Well, those convenient references bring me to the point of this blog, other than breasts, which are a really good point, of course, but you'll see how it all ties together in a sec...

On the 18th October I'm running 10k for Cancer Research. Not a marathon; a lot more fun than a marathon because I won't expire in a small puddle of despair half way through but rather will finish the race feeling great about breasts. Mine, yours, everyone's!  Also, it is in Richmond Park, which I have never been to but I have heard that it's very pretty and this makes the event blog worthy because it is a tourist activity, really, and I think I will definitely count as a tourist in the UK until I at least have a full time job. 

If I happen to see you between now and then, I will be asking you if you love breasts and want to empty your wallets to support the safeguarding of breasts everywhere, sort of like a breast guardian. A warrior for breasts. A breast bodyguard. So if you have cash in your wallet, give it to me, and I will stuff it between someone's breasts. (I will give it to Cancer Research).  Everyone has told me to do that Just Giving thing, but I can't be doing with it: it's complicated. Just give me cash. 

DISCLAIMER: since writing this blog about breasts, one breast bodyguard (who herself has a fantastic set, very much worth protecting and a joy in which to nuzzle) has set me up a Just Giving page so if you DO want to be modern and sophisticated and digital, please do so here: https://www.justgiving.com/emshep/  Thanks Sheema! 

Then, I promise to run this 10k in less than 70 minutes and I'll try to run it in 66 because this is my target and if I run it in 65 or under, I will be asking for more money from you to congratulate my svelte athleticism in the form of donating more money to breasts. 

That is all!